With a Little Help from My Friends

A great beatles song... with a great lyrics. I find myself humming this tune more than not. Especially the first lines hit me in regards to the tittle... "What would you think if i sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me..." And I often wonder at times about friends in general. for instance... what would you think if I moved of state? or changed jobs? Or stop going to school? Or went to a different school? Or any number of things.... silly as it seems how singing out of tune is in the song but in reality it brings a good point does it not? When they get by with a little help from their friends makes me believe there defining there friendship. I often wonder how many of my best of friends would stand by me for everything... or vice versa? Or maybe i just hum it a lot becasue i like the melody :) who knows. but it is a great song and it should leave us all thinking.... "what would i do... (fill in the blank)" for our friends and loved ones as well as back at ya.

PS I really want the new beatles rock band... who doesn't?!

Condo Life...

I am offically living in the condo as of sunday night. I am rather enjoying it but at the same time it feels kind of empty with me being the only one there... and i have a bed and a table. furniture is slowly making its way into the condo which is good! ill try and take pictures and add them later so when i am the only one that reads the blog ill be surprised :) things are going really well with it... we get married NEXT month. that is insane to think about but i am excited. Its great to have support from all of our friends and family especially for the next 5 weeks im sure its going to just get crazier and crazier. between elisha and I, we totalled over 100 hrs of work last week and its going to be that way until the wedding and maybe for a while after that. things are going better for the most part minus the job. still keeping my eye open internally and outside my work as well. i hope i can find something soonish to make things a bit more barable for working so much. Love my family and my hale family :) Been great to me so far. Still working through just a couple more things in my head hopefully have it all clearned up in no time. other than that things are great

FRUSTRATIONS!!!

i don't understand for the life of me why we all go through things and have so much frustrations. I just want things to be simple and easy to understand for not just be but everyone in this world especially the people that i love. for example... on any given day i think more people talk to me that I DON'T want to talk to me... than people that i do. Some ive actually blocked there number in the past but they wont leave me alone... and people that i want to come and talk dont as much. its a weird inverse of what makes sense to me. so its FRUSTRATING. its nice to write it down becuas i don't htink anyone will read it... but it takes it off my brain a bit. another frustrating is being stuck at a job i hate with a passion and no were to go. ive never felt targeted at a job before and now i walk with a big bullzeye on my back. i hope it doens't last long either way. so if anyone knows a good place to work let me know :) however i write so little on my blog im sure this is to myself... so ill keep an eye out for a job!

Change Over Weekend....

So this past weekend we changed over from Treasure Island to Hello Dolly. I'm kind of sad about the whole situation since I really enjoyed working that show... now I will be lost with the large amounts of "free time" I will be having until the next show. Anyways it was a rather "quick" changeover... and after ten years we actually seem to have a system that works. which i am grateful for and for all the people that come and help and deal with my orneriness (not sure if that is a word? I am 100% sure i spelled it wrong if it is...). Well after the normal Saturday/Sunday rig amoral we ended up going to my place to eat dinner. After dinner, being the theatre nerds that we are, Elisha and I went upstairs to watch the Tony's and I may or may not have purchased the sound track to "Rock of Ages" the second Elisha left... I'm not sure. And maybe I'm secretly hoping i can find a time in the near future to go see it because it sounds awesome to me. ANYWAYS... in this picture is the last place i was seen before I was infected with the SWINE flu. Yes that is right... Bryant will be a survivor of the Swine. I will be writing a book about the horrific adventure and the first 100 people that respond to this post with receive and autographed copy of it.
So Ive been out of work for several days on doctors orders... and for those that know me... know that it is killing me! I am going to die soon if i don't go do something. Worst case sceniro... you get swine flu if you hang out with me. who wants to?! Don't be shy! ill be waiting to hear from YOU!

New Thoughts...

In reflecting upon my recent blog and looking back at the last month or so much has changed for me. To begin with I didn't believe ANYONE read my blogs... which makes me feel good and I would like to thank my family and close friends for being wonderful to me. It also makes me realize how little i use my blog... so here is a new post and hopefully i will continue to write at least through the summer. my new blog entry:

Why I am thankful for Kidney Stones....

Recently I just went through a really crappy situation where I got a kidney stone while i was in Florida where i had NO family with me. Kidney Stones are one of the most painful things that you can experience they say... and i believe it now after going through it. So why would ANYONE be glad to get a kidney stone? I'm sure you are all dying with suspense so I will cut to the chase.

While lying in the ER hospital bed in Orlando Florida waiting for my test results and trying not to self diagnose myself I found time to look back and think about what i want in life, what i need, who i want there with me and all of those plus much more. I think when defining these things i also found time to decided what I DON'T want or need. These all came when everything seemed to look bleak and never ending... and before giving up i found the light at the end of the tunnel. Since I've been back a weight has been lifted... my smile is back and I am ready for life! My last blog has been removed because that situation has been removed from my life. Retrospect is funny. i wish i could have it before i did something stupid. Needless to say that kidney stone gave me the realization to know what I want in life and what I can become and how I can obtain it. Thank you everyone :) now the fun part is to see who out of the "everyone" reads it!!

My politcial views... well some

The more and more I think about politics and the system we have the more and more I am finding that most politicans are wrong. they contradict themselves and are down right hypocrtical. I am going to put together a few of my thoughts on why I feel that way.

The first established death penalty laws date as far back as the Eighteenth Century B.C. in the Code of King Hammaurabi of Babylon, which codified the death penalty for 25 different crimes. The death penalty was also part of the Fourteenth Century B.C.'s Hittite Code; in the Seventh Century B.C.'s Draconian Code of Athens, which made death the only punishment for all crimes; and in the Fifth Century B.C.'s Roman Law of the Twelve Tablets. Death sentences were carried out by such means as crucifixion, drowning, beating to death, burning alive, and impalement.

Today we still use the death pently in the United States where many of Countries do not. We categorize our people that support the death penalty as Republicans and people that don't Democrats... which leads me to my next point.

Memebers of the political party that support abortion are democrats... while the reserve is true for Republicans. here is where I disagree with both. How can one party be ok with abortion and not ok with the death penalty? And vice versa. That seems contradicting. I feel that I value all life and as a Human I don't have the ability to make the call if a Man should die or not. I think if they commit horrific crimes than prison in Jail forever in a Super Max prison would be justice. I would like to end with some famous quotes for you all to think about (no one will read this but me)

Lord of the rings

Frodo: It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance.
Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many.

Christmas Carol:

Ghost of Christmas Present.

It may well be that, in the sight of Heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than MILLIONS like this poor man's child.

Journal Time

Hello again.... I usually just add stupid things that really don't pertain to me... so I figured I would add one today because I am feeling a bit like i should. maybe its just from reading other peoples blogs... who knows. I doubt anyone will read this so i don't know if it will really make a difference if i put this down but I think it might help me to feel better if i do. but i doubt it. In the last 5 years I have gone though my share of friends. both my fault and theres. I have seen them leave for many different reasons some including LDS missions, marriage, military and just to get up and leave Utah. All in all i would say maybe 5 friends are still my friend since I was 16 years old. Most of them running away from my "troubled" past i think or just growing apart. It makes it rather hard. I have gone through a few struggles that most people only joke about... in light passing and don't think that it will effect them. I use to be one of those people. Joking about events that I felt were untouchable to me, and for those reading this is not about my divorce, and now looking back I really notice how naive I truly was in it. I have yet to find a person or friend that has gone through the same "discipline" as me which really makes me feel like a bit of a recluse, a loner or a hermit on the outside of the sphere that we all live in. seeing flaws that most wont and handling a situation that most would never even dream of. I feel like I am wandering this earth just to find that one person that understands... and not threw sympathy or empathy... but really has experienced what I did. I do fear that this day will never come and I will carry this cross myself forever. I don't think anyone will have answers I seek and yet they seem so simple, and yet it is untouched by all because they don't understand. This is not some lonely cry out to the world to find me a partner that will understand me for the rest of my life but a cry out to see if anyone else was wronged in the manner that I was. I understand that everyone has struggles some worse and some not as worse as mine, but in my situation making a connection between this problem and another is incomprehensible in my mind. it is not possible. The only thing comparable is the actual event. So I will continue to wrack my brain for an answer... question all that might have an answer... one day it will come... and I hope it makes it all better...